Webster’s definition of enable

We live in a society of blamers, accusers, and enablers. And I refuse to fit into that category. I can sit here and place blame all day but it doesn’t change a damned thing. Now, I need to stand up and take responsibility for my own actions, my own mistakes. I can make accusations but in the end I am right back where it all began. Enable is one of those words with multiple meanings.

Webster’s definition of enable:

1) to make able; provide with means, opportunity, power, or authority (to do something)

2) to make possible or effective

What about when someone enables a person so much that they can no longer do things effectively for themselves. While they are trying to help someone they are in turn making them completely dependant. I realize there is a fine line here and many people might disagree. Helping someone is one thing but enabling him or her not to do anything is something else entirely.

I have known quite a few enablers in my time. It starts out with the right intentions and then gets completely out of control. Instead of arguing the issue it just seems easier to do the job yourself. Here’s an example.

You constantly have to tell your teenaged son to pick up the towels off of the bathroom floor every time he showers. You are sick of saying it and he is sick of hearing it. What do you do? You have two choices and they are as follows:

1) Stick to the point. He is to pick up the towels off the bathroom floor. It is not difficult. You are not asking him to do something that is unreasonable. Everyone else in the household picks up after themselves but he seems to think he’s exempt. He claims that you are nagging.

2) Instead of the constant friction, after all, you have bigger fish to fry; you go in after him and pick up the towels because you just do not want to fight about it anymore. It’s easier to just pick them up then go through the whole emotional battle every day.

While I am a firm believer of the saying that you have to pick your battles you also have to realize that if you chose option 1, eventually he will get the message that you mean business and that you aren’t a maid. His future wife will one day thank you.

If you chose option 2 because you do have bigger fish to fry I can almost guarantee that this WILL become one of those bigger fish later on down the line.

I will help anyone who asks me for help. However, there needs to be a line drawn. There comes a time when you need to stand tall, dig your heels in, and work. Sometimes you need to walk past that brand new pair of shoes and matching handbag because you need to pay the electric bill first. It comes under the heading of priority. You need to set up your priorities and then you work from there. You might not be able to afford a second brand new car, okay, weigh your options. Whoever lives closer to their job takes the second hand car. Better than that, maybe you can take turns. Life is made up of sacrifice. You give a little you get a little. A little adversity never hurt anyone. In fact, it made them stronger.



Give a man a fish and he eats for the day.

Teach a man to fish and he will eat for life.